THE GREAT GORILLA KING

Nigel didn't like the precarious situation he found himself in: before the dreaded Jambaloo counsel, headed by the great Gorilla Judge Jeffries and the many minions he presided over. Nigel had heard stories in his small town of Craggle Rock, of course. Stories that Nigel quickly labelled as "myths" and what Old Man McDermitt passed off as "hickory sticks" was in fact, a reality. Myths and hickory sticks about a place in the trees so deep in the forest the animals come to life. Well, you know they are already alive, thought Nigel. But no, they actually come alive, which in this case, means they can speak English and act like uneducated humans with thick Southern accents. Yep, the people of Nigel's old town believed in this place. A kingdom ruled over by the aforementioned Gorilla Judge and his many minions. It was said that when they caught a human, they would tie up this human (obviously) and bring him (or her) to the Cranberry Coliseum. It was in this Arena, crafted into the land so intricately and expertly you would think mother nature had indeed bought naming rights to the venue, where many of the animals of the Kingdom came to watch the captured Human face off in a gigantic Man vs. Beast competition where only the strongest of species survive. This, of course, spelt death for the humans, as Judge Jefferies and the animals would include such events as "Swim Competitions" (Consisting of swimming against Penguins in which the human would have little to no chance) and "Strength Competitions" (involving Brown Bears against humans. Again, homosapiens are no match.) as well as many other events that the captive human would have to endure. The animals would pack the rafters of the Cranberry Coliseum and would obviously go Bananas for the events, but what they really went wild for is also the grandest event the animal kingdom has to offer: The Cranberry Contortioner. (The sign next to it read, in sheep's blood "HELL ON STILTS") 6 stories supported by large wooden posts on each of the four sides, with brush and netting all the way to the top, where once atop the structure one would find a 6 foot by 6 foot, empty square. This square would lead all the way down to about the second story of the contraption, where the posts supported another level of a trampoline-style of flooring. A few years back, to acquire his status of the supreme ruler of the animal kingdom, Judge Jefferies had to overthrow the reigning champion. The Ruler of All of The Animal Kingdom for as long as anyone could remember, Lionel The Lion ruled his domain with an Iron Fist and a large mane of hair that intimidated even the most ferocious of competition. The years grew on Lionel, however, and Judge Jefferies overcame his tenacity and cunning with 100 percent pure Gorilla strength. Lionel was defeated, and the Kingdom rejoiced. The Gorilla grew overzealous, and imposed unpopular and selfish law after unpopular and selfish law, until the animals in the Kingdom had developed a deep loathing that the world had not yet seen. This brings us full circle to what Nigel is dealing with in the Cranberry Coliseum. He had been given his fate: either defeat the great Gorilla Judge Jefferies and win his freedom, or lose to the Gorilla and be thrown off the Contorter to his death. Nigel had accepted that it was almost a guarantee he would die at the hands of an uneducated Gorilla King. He moved passed this and quickly developed a game plan: "If I can climb up to the top without the Gorilla bothering me, I can just try and jump down to the trampoline, jump as high I as I can upon the trampoline, repel off of the trampoline at break neck speeds, and deliver one of the most punishing uppercuts in the history of the world."
The contest was set to begin. But before they could begin there was an announcement. Nigel and the Gorilla were joined by two other worthy contestants: Barry the Brown Bear, a self proclaimed death dealer, and Paully the Polar bear, a former champ with a huge heart, looking for a shot at glory. Nigel thought to himself," I can use my intellect and get these bears and the gorilla to fight each other on the way up, so I have the time to climb up and deliver my aforementioned devastating uppercut!" Nigel proceeded to tell the brown bear that the gorilla told him he looked fat, then immediately warned the gorilla that the polar bear had insulted his mother, and lastly told the polar bear that the gorilla and brown bear made some off colour remarks about all ice dwelling creatures. All of the contending animals looked quite furious with each other, Nigel thought. Perfect. The Referees came out to officiate the match. The first of the few were promptly eaten by the contenders, as they were delicious zebras. When they had fulfilled their appetites for the match, the contestants had readied themselves for position. The Gorilla told Nigel, "This be the end for you. Your human bones will shatter on impact and make a sound most humorous. " This did not sit well with Nigel. The Zebra's positioned the contestants. "ON MY MARK! ON 3! ONE! TWO! THREE! GOOOOOOOOOO!" All of them had tried to get into a giant fight while climbing. Nigel patiently made his way up the apparatus. His sweat radiating in the jungle air. "IF I CAN ONLY REACH UP TO THE PLATFORM, THEN I AM IN THE MONEY!" He had concentrated on this goal. His plan was going perfectly. The three of the other animals were really beating the living heckery deckery dockery doo out of each other, as Nigel could hear from the commotion. But when he heard a large roar from the crowd, he feared the worst. Yep, they didn't crown that Gorilla the King for nothing, Nigel thought. Judge Jefferies had already made haste of the two bears by throwing both of them off of the Contortioner, and Nigel was next. Of course the Judge was a Gorilla, so this climbing thing made him an easy target. He had made it up to the fifth story but the rabid animal was closing fast. "ONLY A LITTLE BIT MORE!" he thought desperately. "THIS IS MY ONLY HOPE!" Just then, he looked down. The ape was closing fast. "He's 15 feet away! I won't get there in time!" He was almost at the top and the gorilla would be able to reach him and throw him off of the thing in no time. The gorilla grabbed onto his foot. Nigel attempted to shake him off. "Not going to work, this gorilla is way to strong." It was at this juncture when he had determined that being ten feet away from the top wasn't good enough. "IF IM GOING TO SURVIVE, I NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING! QUICK!" Just then, Nigel thought of it. "THIS BANANA!" Nigel quickly took out a banana from his pant pocket and hurled it at the face of the gorilla. Gorilla's cannot resist a ripe banana. "ME CAN'TS RESISTS A RIPE BANANA!" as the gorilla king promptly stopped and devoured the banana, giving Nigel enough time to reach the summit. "AH HA! NOW TO ATTEMPT THE IMPOSSIBLE!" Nigel then positioned himself right next to the square opening at the center of the structure, waited for the gorilla to get up, to the top, and jumped straight down. "MAN THIS IS GOING EXACTLY TO PLAN!" As he came back up, Nigel looked up to see the gorilla in primary uppercutting position. "Wow this chump is in primary uppercutting position!" The ape then ducked Nigel's punch, grabbed the man, and threw him six stories to his death, illiciting a large amount of applause from the audience. Craggle Rock was Craggle Shocked.