The Aviator Blues

It was a Tuesday when I was supposed to learn how to fly the aircraft. This modern marvel of engineering that I was supposed to help take flight had burdened me to the very core. It was not too long until the time came, and I was ill prepared for such a huge task. The pilot was a decorated war veteran who thought anyone that came in contact with his piloting skills were inferior. He made it very clear with comments like, "Yes you are an idiot" and "Do you know what flying means? It means leaving the ground!" as well as "My pet chinchilla could modulate a rocket gear better than you!" Curious, I asked "You have a pet chinchilla?!" He replied, hastily, "NO! THAT'S HOW PATHETIC YOU ARE!" I quickly learned how to take off and into the air we went. Before I knew it we were reaching heights that would make birds jealous. Time flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to come back to earth. Literally. As the plane was in its descent, there was the largest flock of birds I have ever seen. The pilot said, "I HATE BIRDS! LET'S MAKE THEM EXTINCT!" and aimed the jet straight for the middle of the pack. The jet killed many birds that day, and I am still receiving counseling because of this.